Cliché Faint
by rain-streaked
Summary: [Hiroto-Ryuuji-ness] You know, fainting isn't always like what you see on television or read in books - if you faint, it is infinitely more embarrassing than reading it in books or whatnot.


Okay. This is a _shounen ai _fanfiction. So if this bothers you, please go back to the main page and try some other fanfic. Thank you very much.

And when I say "shounen ai", I mean Honda Hiroto x Otogi Ryuuji - forgive me if the Japanese names are wrong.

Oh! And Hello, world! I used to be crimson amnesia but I killed her and took her form.

Actually, these two people called "Thelma and Louise [Louisa?] hacked into my account and deleted everything.

*

****

Cliché Faint

by rain-streaked

*

Whenever I read books and a protagonist or antagonist or anti-protagonist or whatever faints, I notice that basically, all "book-faints" are described in the same way:

__

'His/her eyes rolled back and he/she fell slowly, collapsing on the floor/person/object/pointy something that stabbed her/him through the heart.'

Or _something_ like that.

Okay, so I don't read that much. At least I'm still literate, unlike some... mutts.

Anyway, in movies you see the character suddenly fall backwards, eyes closing. If you zoom in enough [god that woman has the biggest zit I've seen] you'll see that, in an effort to look believable, the person _sort of _rolls his/her/its eyes back before they ever-so-slowly close and [finally!] succumbs to the brain-numbing silence.

Another method of "movie-fainting", most often seen in those stupid soap operas, is to throw your hand against your forehead [careful not to knock yourself out] and fall into the nearest person, or, if possible, chair/bed/sofa/futon/floor. Most of the time, there is an unsuspecting person behind the faint-er, often the person who caused the faint-er to faint. Usually this is done with a dramatic "oh!".

For example, Yuugi [I suppose if he _did_ faint, he would faint like a wussy] grows up, somehow gets married [to the ugliest woman in the world] and [somehow] gets children. Later on in the years, his children grow up and become rebellious teenagers [not that there's anything _wrong_ with being an insufferable rebellious prick, is there?].

One day, suppose his son comes home sporting outrageous piercings and a bald head with a 30 year-old woman on his arm, announcing they're to get married the next week. And suppose that this woman was a chain-smoking, in-your-face, homophobic [damn that woman], butt-ugly neurotic librarian.

What else _could_ Yuugi do other than slap a hand on his forehead, softly cry out "oh!" [as in "oh-my-insufferable-rebellious-child-has-grown-up-and-gotten-himself-a-life-Oh!"] and then promptly proceed to fall back against his [ugly] wife? 

...And hopefully his [ugly] wife will stagger back with Yuugi's -nonexistent - weight [I swear, he is so skinny. I bet he's anorexic or whatever] and trip over a randomly misplaced earring. And hopefully his [ugly] wife will fall, crack her head open and die a bloody, gruesome death. And then Yuugi will cheer and - I dunno, go make out with his yami to celebrate or something.

But away from that.

What I'm trying to say here is that nobody faints like a wussy. At least, nobody _I_ know faints like a wussy. And GOD FORBID that I will ever befriend anyone who faints like one - a wussy, I mean.

Who has time for dramatics? If you're going to faint, it's best to do it quickly, because you don't want to struggle to be awake while you fall back and crack your head open. Because that hurts. A lot.

And besides, it's not like you can _choose_ to faint. It just... happens. And all you can do is pray that you don't faint in a matter of cliché-ness.

*

You might ask _why_ I am rambling on about fainting.

I wouldn't be this obsessed if I hadn't _fainted - in - front - of - the - whole - fucking - classroom!!_

*

It was partially my fault and partially _yours_, I told a amused Hiroto while in the hospital.

Mine? How on _earth_ is it _my_ fault? he asked, eyebrows arching gracefully, attempting to look surprised.

If you hadn't mentioned that I looked horrible, I snarled, I never would have thought about it. And if you hadn't asked whether or not I had gotten enough sleep, I never would have felt sleepy.

He chuckled. Damn him.

*

I had stayed up for three days straight. There was a glitch in the Dungeon Duel Monsters computer game I designed, and the deadline was fast approaching. Since I don't trust anyone to handle my works as well as I can, I decided to fix it up and check it over - in other words, play through the whole friggin' game - myself. [The thirteenth level was torture. I didn't know my games were _that_ hard...]

And on the third consecutive day of staying up all night [I don't know _how_ anyone lives through college - cramming is one hell of a task], I stepped into school.

The first person I see is Honda Hiroto. I summon up a [haggard] smile and say "Good morning" in my best voice. I can't go looking horrible or it'll ruin my reputation, after all.

The first thing he says to me is "God, you look like _shit_!"

In this abnormally _loud_ voice, by the way. Which results in the whole class peeking over at me.

Fuck reputation. I was going to kill this guy, whether I ruin it or not.

"_Ho-n-da Hi-ro-to..._" I drawl out his name in this tired way, issuing a menacing growl.

Honda, however, ignores my warning and continues on with [god, why must he be so _loud_?!], "Are you getting enough sleep?"

I might have been dreaming - it is possible that it could have been a hallucination - but Honda reaches _up_ and I see and feel his hand gently touch my forehead, a soft and smooth warmth. He has a worried look in his eyes, and suddenly I feel warm - very warm, too warm. I feel drowsy and all of a sudden I feel _sleepy_, my body becoming heavy.

I close my eyes and sag into Honda's warm, gentle hand. I manage to mutter, "Ish _fine_, you ash-"

My knees go under me and I literally _collapse_, falling on my knees. I open my eyes for the slightest and look up - Honda has nice eyes, I noticed.

"I'm fiiiiiine..." I groan with a small smile [I hope it was a smile, anyway].

Honda returns the smile, and then picks me up. I feel very, very light - like a feather ready to escape with the wind. My open eyes suddenly close and the moment the darkness touched me I relaxed. 

Well, so much for not ruining my reputation.

*

So there you have it. The doctors say it's likely that I fell asleep, but even _more_ likely that I had fainted first. 

The feeling of exhaustion was due to sleep deprivation, and enhanced by lack of nutrition or some other shit like that - according to Honda, anyway.

Fainting isn't as dramatic as I thought it would be - I didn't throw my hands up to my forehead or gasp "oh!" before going out like a light. Neither did I fall straight back into whoever or whatever was behind me.

An amused Honda informed me that my eyes didn't "roll back".

He instead told me that I slowly closed my eyes and then suddenly _sagged_ - as if I wasn't there anymore.

At least you didn't faint like a wussy, he laughs.

You asshole! Shut up! I yell, but then I decided to chuckle along with him.

*

After an hour or two of silence, Honda speaks up.

You know, Ryuuji...

What, Honda? I reply.

He looks at me. I call you "Ryuuji", right? Is that okay?  


I nod.

Well, why don't you call me "Hiroto"?

I blink.

He blushes, looking strangely cute in this horridly uncharacteristic way.

Forget it, he mutters.

There is a moment of silence, but it's a tense silence, the kind that is aching to be filled, lest someone dies of anxiety.

You know, Hiroto, I say, staring determinedly up at the ceiling, I'm sleepy.

He looks up and regards me with his eye. Which, I noticed, are quite enchanting... 

So am I, Ryuuji.

Without words we smile, a small, exhausted smile but a smile nonetheless.

Slowly I relax and lean back; his hands find mine and we squeeze - lightly and carefully.

He leans over and rests on the blanket, still sitting on the chair. He rustles my hip but I don't care - he is awfully warm, and the blanket is hardly enough against the cold hospital air. 

Sweet dreams, Ryuuji, he mumbles before closing his eyes.

Sweet dreams, Hiroto.

-owari-

[A/N]: Okay, that was _disgusting_. My writing, I mean. I was bored and I was tired and so I _wrote_ - which was even more tiring and resulted in even more crap in FF.net. À la Honda:

God, this looks like _shit_!

I am sorry for the OOCisms and swearing and such.

Bleh. Must sleep.

rain-streaked

[otherwise known as crimson amnesia]

[*thoughtfully* or crim-chan, I suppose.]


End file.
